“Humans don’t mind hardship, in fact they thrive on it; what they mind is not feeling necessary. Modern society has perfected the art of making people not feel necessary.
It’s time for that to end.”
Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging, by Sebastian Junger
I was fascinated by David Brooks’ recent column in The New York Times, “The Great Affluence Fallacy,” in which he says that, back in the day, many Americans joined Native American tribes, either voluntarily or because they were captured. Often, whites who were allowed to return to their original culture chose to stay with Native Americans.
This rarely happened the other way around: Native Americans never willingly chose white society.
David Brooks read about this phenomenon in Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging, by Sebastian Junger, (Junger is the author of The Perfect Storm and War) which inspired me to read this short, well written extended essay on the plight of the lonely, autonomous individual in modern American culture.
I highly recommend Tribe if you feel that we’ve taken a wrong turn somewhere along the way in our relentless pursuit of autonomy and self-actualization, and if you feel we’re in need of a course correction. At about 130 pages, it is a quick but memorable read.
Here are a couple more quotes that spoke to me:
“A person living in a modern city or a suburb can, for the first time in history, go through an entire day–or an entire life–mostly encountering complete strangers. They can be surrounded by others and yet feel deeply, dangerously alone.”
“We are not good to each other. Our tribalism is to an extremely narrow group of people: our children, our spouse, maybe our parents. Our society is alienating, technical, cold, and mystifying. Our fundamental desire, as human beings, is to be close to others, and our society does not allow for that.” – Sharon Abramowitz
Family Reunion
Speaking of tribes, connection, and meaning, this summer I went to a family reunion held every three years or so by my husband’s large extended family of Irish descent. It’s always a great time, and through the years I’ve enjoyed watching four generations gather from the east and west coasts and many places in between. At the reunion we had a memorial tribute to my husband’s uncle, Peter, who recently passed away.
As a young man, Peter emigrated to Australia, started out in advertising and, beginning in the 1960s, spent three decades traveling deep into the interior of New Guinea and collecting tribal art. Eventually, Peter became one of the world’s foremost experts on Melanesian art.
Reading through Peter’s autobiographical material on display at the reunion, I found this:
“…he would spend months at a time traveling in remote areas, living amongst the people and studying their culture and traditional art….he would spend weeks traveling to small, obscure villages…No place was too far. There were trips to the most remote regions of Milne Bay, the Dampier and Vitiaz straits, off the beaten track in the Highlands, even an eleven month trip which delivered a major Kula canoe from Kitava Island to the South Australian Museum.”
Peter’s catalog descriptions make for fascinating reading. I love the vivid, succinct descriptions and the precise words. It’s almost like poetry. Here is one:
“A Wood Mask, Kandrian Sub-District, Wosom Village, the oval white face with an hollowed mouth showing teeth and tongue, hollowed eyes, pierced ears, and the high forehead with three cylindrical shafts issuing feathers, strands of shells and pig teeth hanging from the ear lobes, painted with white, black and red pigments. Height 63 cm. (24 3/4 in.)
This type of dance mask, called ‘Waku,’ was used in circumcision festivities.”
It strikes me that Peter’s fascination with Aboriginal art and life may have been inspired, in part, because he admired their community values and human bonds that ran deep…which is what Sebastian Junger writes about in Tribe. Peter must have resonated with their deep connection to nature, too.
So much knowledge and wisdom can be lost with the passing of intrepid individuals such as Peter. Fortunately, much of his knowledge and many of his experiences have been preserved in books and photographs, which we were able to see at the family reunion. As time goes on, the grandchildren and great grandchildren will be left with some sense of Peter’s remarkable life.
For him, no place was too far.
Art by Sammy Clarmon of the Lockhard River Art Gang, in Gatherings II: Contemporary Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Art from Queensland, Australia. This is one of the Keeaira Press books designed by Great Uncle Peter. These esoteric, small press books about tribal culture are invaluable; they preserve glimpses of a past way of life and a unique body of wisdom for future generations.
Are there fascinating figures in your family history? Do you agree with Sebastian Junger that modern society makes people feel unnecessary?
Books Can Save A Life 
How cool to have such a personal connection to this book! Thanks for sharing those fascinating photos. I’m not sure if this book would resonate with me or not. Having just moved across the country, the quote you shared about primarily encountering strangers resonated a little, but for the most part, I just don’t buy that technogical and social progress are making us less happy. It may take a little more effort than it used to if you want to make friends in person, but it’s certainly doable, and I love how easily I can talk to bookish people all over the world online.
That’s not really what he’s saying I should have explained it better. Thanks for stopping by it must be so exciting to have a new home!
Tribe sounds very interesting. I like books on self discovery. I should check it out
Thanks for the post, Val. I enjoy your writing so much. I read David Brooks’ column and was quite intrigued by it. I know that as a transplant to the Rochester area, it is very, very possible to spend one’s life surrounded by strangers.
Thanks for the info on Uncle Peter. Fascinating.
I remember first moving here many years ago, after spending several years in New York City. I thought, there is no way I can stay here long (it was very much a family town and a tough place for singles to move to) and here I still am more than a couple of decades later. Re: Uncle Peter, we are going to miss him. I wish I’d gotten to know him better, but opportunities to see him were few, though he almost always came to the reunions in the States.
What a fascinating person to have within your family’s memories. And no, I don’t feel unnecessary at a local level. I know that the little I can do can make a difference. But nationally? That’s harder. But the older I get, the more important it feels to try, by getting engaged in groups who seek to plug away at making important changes.
You’re right about that and I do think things will change
My first memory of my Uncle Peter was at a family reunion when I was a kid. I remember listening to the stories of his adventures and each story was all about the people he met and got to know in his travels. In our travels, I have found that to be true as well, each place we go is defined by the people we encounter and get to know. Repeat trips are always extra special because we are able to build on the relationships started on the original trip. I look forward to reading “Tribe” as well. – Joe
I wish I had heard uncle peters stories, the must have been awesome. so true what you say, Italy and our family there come to mind!
I think we should get to know the natives who live next-door.
I also love love love those drawings by Sammy Clarman.
Judy I’ll show you the book it’s filled with beautiful art.
Thanks Val. I’d love to look at it hold it in my hands.